Still Not Real

My father passed away on Sunday morning. I don't think I believe it yet, even though I saw him after it happened. Not dealing well with this. Drove past the old house today; had to pull over because I couldn't breathe. Called their apartment and Mom wasn't home yet; Dad's voice was still on the machine. His funeral is Wednesday...that will be one of the worst days of my life. I am, and always will be, Daddy's Little Girl!

Godspeed Daddy!

Love,
Slick

Knitting the Summer Away

I know my blog has been suffering, but it is tough to type with knitting needles in my hands. I have been busy knitting baby blankets and scarves and other things.

Once the book was finished, after spending years on the dissertation, I decided to give my mind a little break. I only have a picture of one of the blankets I've worked on and  none of the scarves yet. I will post them later, but here is my cousin at her baby shower with the baby blanket:

Working on one more blanket that I need done by the end of August and then I have 5 scarves to finish before school starts again. 

Hope you are all well. 

New Picture on Title & Family Reunion

The weather cooperated this year and someone else gave up their room. I was able to make it to Geneva-on-the-Lake for the family reunion this year!

I love my crazy, fun family!! I took the new header photo from the Firehouse Winery with my younger cousin and her friend.

We had a baby shower for my cousin who is due in October because it was the last time all the girls would be together. We had family from Chicago, Michigan, Pittsburgh, and Camp Hill, PA all in one location. It is always a great time seeing everyone. Miss them all already!

Here's a picture of the entire group on Thursday night....

I'm on Amazon!!!

Blogging: How Our Private Thoughts Went Public is available on Amazon!

It's Here!!!

Blogging: How Our Private Thoughts Went Public advance copies have arrived!! It's Here!!! Soxy is already checking it out!!!

Grades are Submitted!!! Summer Officially Starts Now!!

I am done with grading my final projects and all grades have been submitted! I am officially done with my Spring semester and on "vacation" until August!! Time to ramp up the job search for something full-time; clean the house well; finish some projects I wanted to get done; and spend some much needed time with D and Soxy! Soxy is lying behind my desk chair as I type sighing because we are both on computers working and no one is paying her any mind. Poor puppy! She will get more attention now that the book is done and the semester is over. I plan on doing some reading and writing this summer, but mostly this summer is about the job hunt!

Life In and Out of Hospitals--My Messy Beautiful

My Messy, Beautiful, Amazing Life

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!

As many continuing readers may know, my story is a long one...but I am taking part in the Messy, Beautiful project at Momastery and the best story I have to tell is mine.

I'll begin, at the beginning. I was born blue, three months early and my mother honestly believed that her labor pains were kidney stones because I wasn't due yet. Luckily the doctor convinced her to go to the hospital because by the time she got there I was already crowning. My mother went through natural childbirth to wake up after I had been transported to the nearby Children's Hospital. My esophagus wasn't formed and I had a birth defect of the heart, tetralogy of fallot, which is basically a hole in my heart. My first surgery was at 2 days old, to repair the esophagus. At two years old I went into cardiac arrest in my backyard. My mother found me. My mother is a WARRIOR! I had my first open heart surgery at 2 years old and my second at 7.

My parents tried to let me live a normal life. I played with the other girls in the neighborhood, but mostly spent my time with the boys playing street football and basketball, climbing trees and skinning my knees. I really don't know how my mother lived through the many mini-heart attacks I must've caused her.

At 17 I left for college, only an hour or so away. Got engaged my senior year; called off the wedding three months before it was supposed to happen. Found a job in Wheeling WV as a radio salesperson. Moved away from home with a 1976 Mustang II that barely ran. Scared the daylights out of my parents many times. While in Wheeling, I got engaged again. This time the wedding happened.

On our honeymoon, I had heatstroke. This required me to have a pacemaker inserted on December 13, 1996, a Friday.... I was 26 years old. That night, the heart monitor malfunctioned and I woke up to the machine flatlining.... I asked the nurse if I was dead, and she proved I wasn't by pinching my big toe. I went home with my "new" husband promising to take care of me. He left two hours later to go to a family party.

Seven months later I found out he was cheating on me. Came to my senses and realized he was emotionally and mentally abusing me also by telling me that I was a "freak" and "no one else would ever love" me so I might as well stay with him anyway. Nine months into our marriage we filed for divorce. I got the annulment through the Catholic church and moved back in with my parents.

I started working at my dream job in advertising. I stayed there for three years until my cardiologist made it known that the job was too stressful for my medical conditions. I left the only job I ever loved on the day our team found out we exceeded our goal for the year. I cried!

By this time I owned my own home. My bad taste in men continued. Dating one "stray" after another, as a friend's mother referred to my dates. Drunks, recovering drug addicts...I could "save" them, I thought. Finally, after way too long, I decided to "save" myself first.

I took trips with my friends. One friend and I went to Paris. I told her, but no one else, that I was having some dizzy spells, but I wasn't concerned much. Shortly after returning from Paris, I had to have brain surgery to have a cyst removed. A year after that, I had to have reconstructive surgery on my ankle, because I stepped off of a curb the wrong way.

After the surgeries, where did this leave me? I had a Master's degree,  had a job I didn't like, and I was lonely. I found a new job, actually, it found me, and I started traveling the country and being recognized for doing what I loved. I met a guy, a good one this time, and we started dating.

Fast forward to today...that good guy, D, my husband and I are coming up on our 9th anniversary. He encouraged me to go back to school and get my PhD right after we got married. I completed my degree last March (the picture above is my "hooding" ceremony in May 2013) and find a job teaching. I am still looking for that elusive tenure-track position, but my book on blogging is set to be released in June. I was honored to be able to interview Sister and include Monkee See--Monkee Do and Momastery in my book.

The doctor's told my mother if I survived the night I was born I would be a vegetable. I think I have surpassed that...and I know my mother, My Warrior, has been there the entire time, cheering me on, drying my tears, and loving me...even if she doesn't understand my drive or passion, which I get from both of my parents.

Anything is possible if you set your mind to it...to quote Glennon; "Carry on Warrior(s)"!!